Where has this week gone. I have loved every minute of my time with my sweet Emma!! It has truly been a blessing. I was talking to my dad last night telling him about ALL of the crazy, funny, sweet things his silly grand daughter did yesterday and he said, "She sure is going to miss you when you go back to work!" That it home so hard! After I got off the phone with him I started crying. I would give anything to be able to stay at home with her but it is impossible for us to do that. I miss her so much during the day that every time I get a chance, I call the amazing baby sitter and check on her. I'm sure she gets tired of seeing my phone number on caller ID!
So my question to all of you bloggers out there is....If you are a working mom....Do you regret working instead of staying at home with your child or children?? If your a stay at home mom...Do you wish you worked? It has been such a struggle for me. I guess it has a lot to do with all that we have been through with Emma and that I feel like I am missing so much with her. Often I feel like I am letting her down as a mother by not being there to teach her new things! Will she be upset next week when I drop her off and leave??? I guess I am starting to ramble, so that's usually my cue to sign off!!! I hope you have had a blessed week and I also hope I can find time to blog!! HA! I know it won't be everyday!
Remember me in your prayers that I can be the mom, wife, and teacher that God wants me to be!
With love,
Kelli
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2 comments:
I may not make you feel any better because I have ALWAYS regretted working. With Ally, I was able to work 2-3 days a week until she went to school. With the other 2, I stayed home till Brandon was 1 then went and worked 40+ hours a week until Ally came along. If I had it to do over again, I would have sacrificed more. we would have waited on building a house. I know there are situations that it is impossible not to work, and you are blessed to have the summer off. And it sounds like you have a wonderful sitter and that makes a world of difference too. Enjoy every moment. You are a great mom, so dont let the mom guilt keep you from enjoying your days!
Well, as you know or not, I just recently went back to school. When my first Logan was about 11 months old, I went to work, and had the same feelings you are now. I finally quit, had two more children and stayed home for the next ten years. I recently decided to go back to school and it has been the biggest challenge to me. I feel guilty every single day. The nursing program is so demanding. It is Katie's first year to go to school (preschool) , and I am missing so much. I am literally miserable. Now do not get me wrong, I love nursing, but it is so time consuming. I have days when I drive to school crying because the guilt is so bad. But, then I have to finally suck it up and realize that everything I am doing is for them. I am going back to school to better my family and give then a better future. College is really expensive, and I can't imagine what it will be when they get there. So, all though it is so very heart wrenching now, I know that it is something I have to do at this point in my life and that in the long run, my children will realize what it has meant and appreciate that. I wish it did not hurt so bad though. I wish I could just stay at home, but in this day and age, that would be reaching. It's hard, but Emma knows you love her, just as my children know I love them. I just make every spare moment I have about them. I dedicate every thing to them. That is what you are doing. And don't you worry, you are teaching Emma everything she needs to know. She watches your every step. You are her mother, something no one else can be. She will grow and strive to be what she sees in you. The strength, determination, and love that no one else could ever replace. She knows that and will never forget no matter what. And I pray daily that God help me with this struggle that I have and he always reassures me that I am doing what is right. That is something else your daughter will get from watching you, the strong faith you posess. So, as all my friends say, chin up, for there are always little eyes watching you!! And she depends on that strength everyday!! I enjoy your blogs...until next time...God bless you and have a wonderful week!!! Dana
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